Here we are. THE Final Destination. Throwing the “the” in there really makes you think it’s either going to be the last or a reboot. This movie is neither. I started this series with my fond remembrances of the year 2000, now I’m stuck with a shitty reminder of 2009.
Where to start with this train wreck. By the way - no train wreck. This one was meant for 3D, and that’s how I saw it two years ago. I think I was drunk, because I remember it being fun. Seeing it at home was not as good. It’s kind of funny to point out where the 3D effect would be, and how they often sacrifice momentum to shoe-horn it in. Oh! And the title sequence does away with the clever hints about the deaths in the movie, instead they show some shitty computer animated deaths from previous movies, set to an “active rock” sound track.
The acting is even worse in this installment, and the most likable character killed his entire family in a drunk-driving accident. There’s a horrible racist, and instead of the rad bro from the previous film, we’re stuck with a date-rapist Zach Morris clone.
The call backs to the previous films are limited to a brief mention of Flight 180, the racetrack being named after McKinley, and the same fake beer company. Boobs don’t show up until minute 39, and even those aren’t as good as in the other movies. Oh, and speaking of minutes, this one clocks in at seventy-six minutes.
Instead of subtle hints appearing in the real world, or even the digital camera thing, we’re treated to just repeated 3D, shitty computer animation premonitions.
I don’t even know what else to say. Did I still enjoy it a bit? Ok, yeah, a little. But the deaths are gory, not especially clever, and Tony Todd is nowhere to be found. And I think it takes place in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Fucking midwest.
I take back what I said about the third one. I like it waaaaay more, after seeing this garbage again.
I give this movie three out of ten dimensions.
out of
I’m struggling to even find a death I liked for posting. So I’ll be as lazy as the filmmakers and show you this:
